Never trust a grape... [Trans!Bakugou x Kirishima] [BDE]

[NicTheDjinn]

"I never said you couldn't." He pointed out when asked if he could keep using the nicknames they'd been using for so long and he meant it. While he was frustrated and even angry, he didn't like the idea of them growing more distant. Any sort of abuse that came his way would be worth it for someone as good to him as Kirishima was. Thankfully this also meant that Eijirou would get the chance to prove that abuse wasn't his intention at all, now or in the future.

"I wasn't raped, I was molested, and I'm fuckin' fine. I've been through worse. Shattered both my arms when we played hero on that island, this is child's play." While it was true that he had suffered injuries many times worse than this, the physical aspect of it wasn't the problem. Bakugou, to those that knew him, was rather delicate in terms of his psyche. Having all control and consent taken from him was absolutely huge and it had very clearly affected him. On top of all the mostly unaddressed trauma, he was not handling it well and would likely carry this for a long time.

When asked to be honest and promised openness in the future, his eyes cast themselves down to the ground. Eijirou didn't want to be shut out, but he shouldn't be letting anyone in any way. Leaving himself open and raw and vulnerable only ever got him hurt. He couldn't promise something like that... He already had so many scars on the inside of his mind and soul, he couldn't keep exposing himself like that. it was too risky. He honestly couldn't understand how some people could do it so easily. Did that make him weak? He wasn't sure, but he didn't like that thought.

When they arrived at the door, he found he didn't want to go inside. He knew he would have to give a report about exactly what had happened to him and a rape kit was invasive. A hand found his own and that's what finally gave him the strength to reach out and open the door. At least he wasn't alone. Indeed, he wouldn't be. When asked if he wanted Kirishima to stay, the faux redhead picked right up on what he really meant by his seemingly neutral answer. He would remain here with him during the process and honestly he wasn't sure he could keep it together if he wasn't. He'd manage, but it would have been far harder on his own, he was fairly sure.

Once the stirrups were set up, he couldn't seem to bring himself to look at them. He didn't want to use them, but knew he had to and fairly soon, what's more. He was pulled back to reality when a hand found its way into his own again. Though he'd been angry and had felt betrayed, the closer they got to what they were here for, the more he found himself needing his friend to help keep him at least semi-grounded.

"No, deary, thank you. Feel free to sit in the chair by his bed and make yourself comfortable." She added as she went about fetching what she needed, speaking to Bakugou next. "Aizawa has informed me of what's happened. You wish to press charges, as you should, but that means..." She trailed off sadly, trying to think of how to put it delicately. These cases were never easy.

"You need to gather evidence." The blond finished for her, his voice starting to take up that numb, emotionless tone he'd used when speaking with their sensei on the phone. On his own, he continued. "It stings. Someone should swab under his nails, there may be blood evidence there."

The woman nodded solemnly at the news as she returned with the last of what she needed. "I'll make sure we do. When you're ready, I need you to lay back and place your feet in the stirrups, please." She encouraged gently, stepping up onto a stool to wait.

Despite the deadpan way he'd spoken, the blond didn't move right away. He sat quietly for a bit, simply breathing and holding his best friend's hand. When he finally gathered himself enough, he laid back and did as he was told, already hating how horribly exposed he felt.

And so she started to do what needed to be done, giving him detailed warnings of what she was about to do before she did it. She worked as quickly, but gently as she could, examining and swabbing for evidence as she went. Though she didn't want to make him feel more uncomfortable than she had to, she wanted to make sure she gathered every scrap of information she could so that he wouldn't have to be subjected to this more than once.

Katsuki lay there, silent and staring at the ceiling at first only to close his eyes soon after. His brows pinched, his grip on Eijirou's hand tightened, and the faux redhead would be able to feel him start to tremble and his breathing start to quicken. Though he was being an incredible patient, it was clear that he was far from alright.

[h0mesick_alien]

Kirishima nodded, smiling a little. “Okay…yeah, I’m glad I can. Suki feels right.” It felt familiar and good and safe. Growing distant felt scary, he didn’t want them to be distant. He wanted to be close and wanted to love Bakugo. And he wanted to make sure the other would know he’d never abuse him, he’d make that known, hopefully for sure. He didn’t want Bakugo to ever doubt his feelings for him, his love for him. And he didn’t want him to think he’d abuse him, that wasn’t what he wanted to do. He wanted to love him and show him that he was worth everything, that he deserved the entire world and Kirishima wanted to give it to him.

“Katsuki this isn’t child’s play. Breaking your arms is a lot different than being molested. It’s much harder on your psyche.” He said and looked at him worriedly. And when he didn’t answer about being honest and being open…he knew that meant he wouldn’t be yet. It would be hard to get him to that point again. “At least tell me you’ll try…I want to be close again, I really didn’t mean it. I know I broke your trust and you probably feel hurt n stuff…” He just wanted them to be super close again.

Kirishima planned to be at his side for everything, through the rape kit, at the police station, though they’d have to be separated to make their reports. Kirishima would have to give one too since he was first on the scene and watched Mineta run out of Bakugos room. He’d also noticed how he didn’t look at the stirrups. He must not want to put his feet in them, he’d be really exposed. He nodded and sat down beside the bed in the chair, still holding the others hand in his own. But once they could be together again he’d be at Bakugos side and offering his own bedroom to him, considering the blondes was a crime scene and destroyed by his explosions.

He wouldn’t mind letting Bakugo borrow clothes while they tried to salvage what wasn’t destroyed, and he wouldn’t mind giving up his bed to the other and sleeping on a mat on the floor. He wouldn’t think Bakugo would let him share the bed with him. As he said it stung, that there could be blood under his nails…that would mean he scratched him inside, that…fuck it made him angry. His quirk ripped down his arms and he took a deep breath, trying to keep himself calm. His numb tone worried him, it meant he was shutting down right? Or at least getting into his head… Neither option sounded good and it was making him worry even more about Bakugo.

When she said for him to put his feet into the stirrups, he gently squeezed his hand, just letting him know that he was here for him. His thumb brushed over the back of his hand and once he laid back and put his feet up, he softly kissed the back of his hand. Listening to her talk about what she was going to do…he hated hearing it. He hated that this happened to Bakugo. He hated that he couldn’t reverse time and make this never happen.

He could feel his hand tighten around his own and even felt him start to shake. He scooted his chair closer and gently reached over to take his other hand as well. Kirishima brought their hands together and kissed over his knuckles. “Breathe Suki, breathe deep with me, okay?” Once he got enough of his attention he started taking deep breaths, wanting Bakugo to match his breathing pattern so he could try to calm down a little.

“Cmon I know you can do it. Just a little longer, okay? Then you can get dressed, we can go to the police station and then come back. You can sleep in my bed and I’ll sleep on a mat on the floor infront of the bed.“ Kirishima wanted to add that he would protect him, but didn’t want to upset Bakugo and have the other day he didn’t need to be protected.

“You can even hold my big shark we got when we went to ikea that one time. Remember when Kaminari broke his desk and we had to get a new one before Aizawa saw? And I saw that big shark and didn’t have my wallet so I was real sad I had to leave it behind. And then when you broke off from us, you went and bought it for me…” His smile was soft as he tried to distract Bakugo from what was going on with a happy memory. “You gave it to me and I tried to hug you for like ten minutes. I really loved that day.”

He was hoping that telling good stories would make him feel a little better, keep his mind off of what Recovery Girl had to do. “And then we all build the desk together, Sero insisted that he didn’t need directions and that he was a master at building ikea furniture. You took over when he started to build it wrong. It was pretty funny. But I remember the focused look on your face as you looked over the directions and then back to the desk.”

Kirishima looked at him. “Do you remember that night? We had a group movie night and you fell asleep with your head on my lap and then we woke up cuddling on the couch with my new shark as a pillow.” He wasn’t gonna mention that Mina had taken a picture and sent it to him, he loved that picture though.

[NicTheDjinn]

Kirishima got little more than a grunt out of him when he expressed how happy he was to have permission to keep using his first name as well as the shortening of it. If he were honest, it felt strange for Eijirou to call him anything else at this point... Even if he was upset or angry at him, the thought of losing him was a horrible one that he never wanted to come to pass.

More silence. He wasn't disagreeing that being molested was different and how it still wasn't good for him, he knew it wasn't. He could feel how it had hurt him and continued to do so, knowing he would carry this for a while. He wanted to argue, but he also didn't like to lie to Eijirou's face if he could help it, particularly when he was angry as his lies tended to be more mean-spirited during those times. When pushed to at least try to be honest, he wanted to knee jerk and be petulant about it, but it was clearly important to Kirishima. "Fine... Whatever." The second word was added after a second, clearly trying to save a little face after that small show of honesty. It would probably be easier once he felt more comfortable.

Comfortable wasn't something he was going to feel in the immediate future though... Admitting he'd actually been hurt, even if only a little, rubbed him the wrong way. This was made significantly worse given the location of the injury. If he had to guess, it was actually partially his fault as it had likely happened when he'd instinctively blown the tiny teen away which had resulted in his probing fingers being ripped violently out of him. He tried not to think about that too much, but it was hard... He didn't miss the way the redhead's quirk crackled its way up his arm in an angry wave and that was a strangely comforting sight. It felt nice to have someone angry for him in this situation. It helped make his feelings on the matter feel more validated.

The squeeze to his hand was what gave him the final little push he needed to lay down and put his feet up while the gentle rub of a thumb kept him grounded. He could feel the panic and the desire to recoil as she started to work and though the gentle warnings she gave him as she worked helped his logical mind, it was the hand in his that actually kept him still and compliant. While he'd been sure that Eijirou would be comfortable holding his hand through this process, he hadn't expected for him to go out of his way to take his other hand and coax him to match his breathing. Perhaps even more shocking was the fact that after only a few seconds, the blond complied without complaint, altering his own breathing to be slower and even to match his friend's.

When Eijirou spoke, he opened eyes he hadn't even noticed he'd closed to pay attention, further distracting himself from what was happening to him. "I'm not snuggling with a stuffed animal... But yeah, I remember when dunceface managed to somehow stupid his desk nearly in half." He honestly had no idea what Kaminari had done other than it being 'an accident' but he'd long since accepted that this was just part of being part of this friend group. Someone was always doing something that threatened to give him a headache. At least the moron hadn't hurt himself in the process and his family had the financial backing to replace the desk without a fuss. Why it had become a group outing with the whole squad, he had no idea...

"I remember. I was there." He grumbled with a dramatic roll of his eyes. "It was embarrassing as hell." He added, trying to ignore the way he could feel his cheeks warm a little at the memory. It was indeed a happy one and he could very much remember the resulting hug and how he maybe forgot to struggle out of it. He always felt so safe in Eijirou's arms... It was something he had mixed feelings about. He didn't want to have to depend on someone else, but at the same time, he craved the gentle affection he'd been starved of most of his life.

"This is why the blind leading the blind works out better than the dumb leading the dumb. It should not have been that difficult to assemble a fucking desk. To be expected I guess... Instructions were in English and his English is really shitty." He grumbled on, distinctly remembering having read the instructions carefully so as not to screw up and give his friends a reason to call him out. He needed to get it perfectly right the first time or they would have reason to call him out after having taken a jab at Sero for not being able to do it.

He sputtered when the end of their night was brought up then, looking away and blushing up to his ears. "L-like I'd fall asleep like that! Like hell we 'cuddled' I don't cuddle!" He lied blatantly trying to save face with the little old woman currently swabbing his insides. She couldn't care in the slightest about it, but that didn't stop him from trying to play it off. At the very least, his embarrassment made it very clear that he remembered just fine what they had done. He also wouldn't admit that the nap they'd taken together was some of the best sleep he could remember getting and how cold and alone he'd felt when he got into his own bed later on.