Of Giant and Tiny Boyfriends [Mezou x Fumikage | Dark Shadow x Katsuki]
Posted: Thu Sep 15, 2022 2:33 am
It had started after the camping trip their first year in high school. The man in question was strong, calm, collected, and bright. He was beautiful, even if that didn't register quite yet. They were confused and in the throws of fully realizing themself out alongside needing to communicate with Dark Shadow near constantly, regardless of feeling up to it or not. Romance and attraction were simply something they didn't have the energy for, nor the interest. And honestly, who really did in high school? Well- quite a few people, but there were more things to focus on when studying to become a hero.
Yet, despite the lack of emotional or energetic bandwidth, he found himself trying to get closer to one of two people. Specifically, one because the other had a group they weren't particularly comfortable around. Not that they were bad people, quite the contrary, but they were extroverted. He was not. Shouji Mezou, however, was far easier to reside in the presence of. The group surrounding him was far quieter, more reserved, and less... mean. They didn't judge the group unofficially dubbed as the 'Bakusquad' for their dynamic, it just wasn't their cup of tea. Solitude and soft speech were their comfort zone, the others were caring, sure, but they could be a lot at times. They seemed to be closely knit, though, so good for them.
The closer he got, though, the harder it was to ignore that there was something more than platonic behind his reasoning. As much as he hated that, he tried to push it aside, to get over his little crush and go back to it being just him and Dark Shadow like before. It didn't work, of course, but he genuinely tried on his own. He tried, failed, and felt himself shatter a bit when he found out that the two people who'd caught his eye were together. Of course, he wasn't as close to Bakugou, but it still hurt to see them interact on their own more.
Starting college made that pain easier to manage, but the feelings that caused it refused to subside. However, it also left him with far more downtime to think. By himself. Sure, Dark Shadow was there, influencing things in a similar way to how he influenced him, but things with him could easily become an echo chamber. It often left him feeling like he had barely even talked to another being, even knowing well enough that he had.
So, he wrote a letter. He wrote a letter, sealed the envelope with a darkly colored wax, and approached the other man. Sure, they had been nearly half his height for years, but they'd never felt so small around him. Not that it mattered, he just wanted to deliver the letter and run, frankly. But it would be fine, they just had to go up to the other when he usually had lunch, addressing him with a brief greeting before handing him the parcel. The papers looked intentionally aged, off-white, and a bit yellowed, the other's name was printed on the envelope with the inside containing scrawled words written in dark red ink. Yes, he absolutely did the most to get it like that, a lame feather quill and writing by candlelight as well because he wouldn't settle with anything less than perfect for the other.
Shouji,
Despite the knowledge of my inexorable despondency, I find myself and my Shadow no longer able to refrain from admission. As egocentric as that may be, as futile as my words may find themselves becoming, I still wish to admonish such self-centered feelings. Of course, both He and I know this is, at best, a fantastical daydream, yet still, we implore you to read my words unescorted. Should I find opprobrium at your rejection, my sole hope is to retain my dignity thereafter.
Regardless, I find myself seeking your camaraderie quite regularly. My Shadow and I have found ourselves an apathetic approach to the fallacy of romantic endeavors, a solitary revelry in the darkness. We have come to understand the beauty of our mutual lack of interest in heat, a lack of desire for that which is found under the light of the sun. Yet I yearn to join the warmth of another within the forbidden garden, limbs intertwined with naught but blinding affinity to guide the tremors within my feeble chest. Alas, this also has not come without repercussion.
Without consequence, we would remain in the dark, disinterested in light not brought from within. In a perfect world, we could be mature and strong enough on our own, but this world is anything except. You have become a beacon, along with the twin flame of your partner and I have been left as but a mere moth seeking such a light. It has become increasingly apparent to me that, even in the face of dismissal, forsaking this degenerate yearning will only begin to increase in difficulty as time continues its steady march.
Seeking counsel on this has wrought less than favorable ideas, so I have resigned myself to writing this in hopes of sparing myself. The ignominy of stumbling over this in an attempt to vocalize it would be far too much for a man such as myself to bare. However, with that said, I do so hope this letter finds you in good health and pleasant standings emotionally. I wish not to cause you any additional turmoil or stress, nor to cause any pressure on seeking a response, be it rejection or not. I am certain your days are likely already filled with studies and interpersonal connections, therefore it is not my intention to rush anything. Of course, despite my hope for an answer, I am also aware that may not be in the cards at present and have accepted such as a possibility. You are free to take as long as needed or simply throw this letter out. I will never hold any ill will against such an astonishingly sublime friend.
All the best,
Tokoyami Fumikage.
Yet, despite the lack of emotional or energetic bandwidth, he found himself trying to get closer to one of two people. Specifically, one because the other had a group they weren't particularly comfortable around. Not that they were bad people, quite the contrary, but they were extroverted. He was not. Shouji Mezou, however, was far easier to reside in the presence of. The group surrounding him was far quieter, more reserved, and less... mean. They didn't judge the group unofficially dubbed as the 'Bakusquad' for their dynamic, it just wasn't their cup of tea. Solitude and soft speech were their comfort zone, the others were caring, sure, but they could be a lot at times. They seemed to be closely knit, though, so good for them.
The closer he got, though, the harder it was to ignore that there was something more than platonic behind his reasoning. As much as he hated that, he tried to push it aside, to get over his little crush and go back to it being just him and Dark Shadow like before. It didn't work, of course, but he genuinely tried on his own. He tried, failed, and felt himself shatter a bit when he found out that the two people who'd caught his eye were together. Of course, he wasn't as close to Bakugou, but it still hurt to see them interact on their own more.
Starting college made that pain easier to manage, but the feelings that caused it refused to subside. However, it also left him with far more downtime to think. By himself. Sure, Dark Shadow was there, influencing things in a similar way to how he influenced him, but things with him could easily become an echo chamber. It often left him feeling like he had barely even talked to another being, even knowing well enough that he had.
So, he wrote a letter. He wrote a letter, sealed the envelope with a darkly colored wax, and approached the other man. Sure, they had been nearly half his height for years, but they'd never felt so small around him. Not that it mattered, he just wanted to deliver the letter and run, frankly. But it would be fine, they just had to go up to the other when he usually had lunch, addressing him with a brief greeting before handing him the parcel. The papers looked intentionally aged, off-white, and a bit yellowed, the other's name was printed on the envelope with the inside containing scrawled words written in dark red ink. Yes, he absolutely did the most to get it like that, a lame feather quill and writing by candlelight as well because he wouldn't settle with anything less than perfect for the other.
Shouji,
Despite the knowledge of my inexorable despondency, I find myself and my Shadow no longer able to refrain from admission. As egocentric as that may be, as futile as my words may find themselves becoming, I still wish to admonish such self-centered feelings. Of course, both He and I know this is, at best, a fantastical daydream, yet still, we implore you to read my words unescorted. Should I find opprobrium at your rejection, my sole hope is to retain my dignity thereafter.
Regardless, I find myself seeking your camaraderie quite regularly. My Shadow and I have found ourselves an apathetic approach to the fallacy of romantic endeavors, a solitary revelry in the darkness. We have come to understand the beauty of our mutual lack of interest in heat, a lack of desire for that which is found under the light of the sun. Yet I yearn to join the warmth of another within the forbidden garden, limbs intertwined with naught but blinding affinity to guide the tremors within my feeble chest. Alas, this also has not come without repercussion.
Without consequence, we would remain in the dark, disinterested in light not brought from within. In a perfect world, we could be mature and strong enough on our own, but this world is anything except. You have become a beacon, along with the twin flame of your partner and I have been left as but a mere moth seeking such a light. It has become increasingly apparent to me that, even in the face of dismissal, forsaking this degenerate yearning will only begin to increase in difficulty as time continues its steady march.
Seeking counsel on this has wrought less than favorable ideas, so I have resigned myself to writing this in hopes of sparing myself. The ignominy of stumbling over this in an attempt to vocalize it would be far too much for a man such as myself to bare. However, with that said, I do so hope this letter finds you in good health and pleasant standings emotionally. I wish not to cause you any additional turmoil or stress, nor to cause any pressure on seeking a response, be it rejection or not. I am certain your days are likely already filled with studies and interpersonal connections, therefore it is not my intention to rush anything. Of course, despite my hope for an answer, I am also aware that may not be in the cards at present and have accepted such as a possibility. You are free to take as long as needed or simply throw this letter out. I will never hold any ill will against such an astonishingly sublime friend.
All the best,
Tokoyami Fumikage.