I Keep my Special Boys in the Cave [Genshin Childe/Bennett/Heizou]

[DirtyDeku]

Instead of marriage, Bennett could picture them doing something kind of insane. A ring? No, they're just going to bite one of eachother's fingers off. It wouldn't be too out of the ordinary for Bennett to get injured enough that an amputation might be needed, but then again he didn't really view himself as somebody who could bite somebody's finger off either. Leaving marks would have to do until he thought of something more their style, or until one of them dies. For real, though, not the type of death he entertained Childe with once or twice. Bennett wouldn't be surprised if he also did things to him while he was asleep, but apparently doing that sort of thing to Bennett's corpse was... better? He's had every single boundary pushed so it's weirdly casual, but if he was being honest the only things he's really felt when he had to revive Childe-- thankfully it didn't happen often at all-- were panic and grief. There was a visceral reaction he didn't really know he could have, and he wasn't sure if it was entirely natural-- nobody wants somebody to die in their company-- or if it was twinged with panic over losing the only person who has ever stayed by his side this long.

Maybe that was possessive, too. He couldn't bear to lose his partner and go back to being the one and only member of Benny's Adventure Team. They've established a horrifying level of codependence, and it shouldn't be allowed to continue but alas, Childe was the one who was supposed to be rejecting advances from somebody ten years younger than him. It probably helped Childe's attachment to Bennett that his friends back in Mondstadt weren't exactly stable-minded either. Fischl roleplays all day long, all week, and everyone just... lets her. Razor was raised by wolves and probably doesn't even know how old he is let alone how age gaps worked. Mika was always with Varka, wherever he decided to go, so it wasn't common to even see him. Noelle was... actually, Noelle was pretty good at following rules and behaving herself, but she was always neck-deep in her maid duties and training with her weapon when she wasn't. Bennett assumes that news of his involvement with Childe simply hasn't made it to the people with more authority on purpose, though. Jean would probably explode if she saw them kiss.

"Oh, I wouldn't mind going with Detective Shikanoin to get dinner. Is using the mora you gave me okay?" He reluctantly moves out of Childe's grasp, pushing himself to his feet and moving to pull the pouch of currency out of his bag. It was a bit lighter than before, but he'd made up a certain amount of the lost funds earlier when he was exploring the island. As he waits for confirmation, he leans down to hug Childe around the neck and nuzzle his cheek into the top of the other's head. He also gives him a few pecks ontop of his head, too. He didn't think they'd be gone for too long, but he still felt the need to return the affection given to him. Plus, he actually did rather like hugging Childe when they weren't biting and scratching eachother like feral cats. He's built like a Slim Jim. All fun and games until Bennett rolls down the window and Childe goes flying out like a napkin. ...Whatever that meant. "Do you want meat or something with vegetables? I had a little bit of both earlier, so I don't mind having either."

[cynnabnnuy]

Fuck. Okay- no, this was fine, he could work with this! He would work with it. Heizou smiled at Bennett again at the suggestion of taking him along, nodding as he took a slow breath. "Of course, it'd be such a shame if I lost my way in my own nation." Scoffing lightly, he hummed softly at Bennett's question of mora before moving over to slip back into his sandals. The teen turned his attention away as Bennett lathered Childe in affection. These two absolutely were insane, but he knew he hadn't even seen damn near the half of how horrible they would get. Still, he adjusted himself and dusted himself off in turn before placing his hands on his hips.

"You're more than free to call me Heizou, Bennett, no need to be so formal. I'm not working at the moment, anyway, so the title is a bit stuffy for a casual gathering, don't you think?" His expression was... probably welcoming, but there was certainly still discomfort lacing his movements and tone when he spoke. But, he was genuine in the comment of titles. He'd prefer Childe remaining with Shikanoin, but considering- well, him, he probably (definitely) wouldn't do so. Still, Bennett was fine. He was friendly, sweet, and endearing. Bennett could call him anytime. Kidding, sort of, but hey! "You ready to go, though? I'd hate to have you guys go hungry for too long."

[CRYBABY]

Going as far as biting Bennett’s finger clear off to signify his devotion to the other is something Tartaglia would absolutely endorse. Though he wasn’t quite sure how losing a finger in turn would affect using his bow… hmm. It’s not as if Childe wasn’t proficient in all weapons, he had his dual swords after all, but he quite liked using a bow since he wasn’t the strongest with it. Watching someone die by your hand with a weapon you aren’t even good at wielding is a sick sort of satisfaction–not to mention an ego boost. Maybe he could convince Bennett to bite his ear off like some pained artist.

Tartaglie chuckled at Heizou’s sarcastic comment, “Crazier things have happened, Detective. I recall a time Rex Lapis asked for directions in Liyue.”

Childe hummed contently as Bennett hugged him, leaving kisses atop his head–a gesture he oddly liked considering he was usually the one looking down at the boy–while the Harbinger collected some mora from his coat pocket. Handing it to the adventurer once Benny was done with his affections, “Here’s some more in case you two find dessert on the way back, you know what I like,” Bennett’s ass, that’s what but sadly that might not be on the menu tonight. He paused to think for a moment at the following question, not really sure what he wanted to eat… “Meat will do, and if there is a dish that includes rice that would be even better.” Thinking of his physique he opted for more protein, he was a skinny bastard and the last thing he needed was Bennett running into the arms of one of those strong oni men he kept hearing about. He smiled up at the boy, a subtle spark dancing in his cold eyes. “Don’t keep me waiting too long, boys.”

[DirtyDeku]

"Mmm, yeah, calling you Detective Shikanoin is a mouthful to be honest," He admits, fingertips tracing over Childe's exposed skin with an obvious affection and devotion. It was a bit funny that somebody built like Childe could rip someone a new asshole before they even realized it, but Bennett thought it was interesting. That, or he's just used to being surrounded by ridiculous people. One of his friends roleplayed all day long, one raised by wolves, Diluc and Kaeya had whatever they had against eachother, Mondstadt's Archon literally got drunk every night and... looked like that. A stringbean from Snezhnaya might as well be his boyfriend, or... designated predator? He traces two fingers over the other's Adam's apple before backing off, and probably chose the best time to do so as his mouth falls open and he stares down at the Harbinger. Was he allowed to say that? The majority of people in Liyue didn't know even though Zhongli was admittedly not very secretive about it, so he doubts somebody across the planet would.

"We're going now!" He declares, unsure what else to do except hoping Heizo takes it as just some shit Childe said to seem cool, or something. He turns and heads to the door, opening it and motioning Heizo to leave before him so he could shoot the Harbinger a what the Hell was that? look. Mind games and making out of pocket remarks weren't new for Childe, so he's really just kind of exasperated. That Liyue thing had been... so exhausting. How was he supposed to explain that Liyue's Archon was a peepaw on vacation? Not to mention all the Mora shit... To be fair Inazuma's Archon was throwing a temper tantrum so it's not too strange that Rex Lapis would want to kick his feet up and stop throwing massive spears at people in his loincloth but. Ugh! His brain isn't big enough to make something up about the real Rex Lapis so he'll probably just--

"Ehehehe, what he meant was Wex Lappus. It's-- It's like a folk character, y'know? Back in Mondstadt, all the little weiner-schnitzels-- that's kids-- leave a bottle of dandelion wine out for him so he'll give them a gift and, like, good fortune," He explains, screaming internally. He's so bad at lying! Why was Childe equipped with a forked tongue? Lying was so natural for him that he barely even sounded different to Bennett at this point. He'll have to toss a Mora Zhongli's way if he ever runs into him again, or something. Sorry for lying about you, not-grandpa! "...Anyways. I-I guess you're confused about why I travel with somebody like him, then? I mean, I'd probably be pretty concerned if somebody my age did something similar and I was in your shoes."

[cynnabnnuy]

"And was that before or after they died?" Pushing at the mention of Liuye's archon, he narrowed his eyes briefly before humming at Bennett's declaration. "Right, that sounds like an excellent idea, Bennett." He took to the door as if it were a lifeline, lips pursed as the other two looked at each other. The archon governing his home had formerly been throwing a fit for 500 years, so it wouldn't be surprising to him that good ol' Morax was directionally challenged within the cityscape. Still, that wasn't something he particularly cared about, so he left it at that, simply letting the younger boy rush him along.

Once past the closed door, he took the lead, motioning for the blonde to follow him as he started towards Inazuma City again. It wasn't a terrible trek, but the night was young, and the stars were starting to creep behind the setting sun tentatively. Chuckling at the blatant lies, though, he looked at Bennett, his eyes observing him for a moment before he shook his head. "There's no need to lie about things to save face. You're not very good at it, and that reveals more than I'm sure you'd like it to." Patting the boy's shoulder gently, he hummed at the statement following, brow arched as he nodded in agreement before crossing his arms carefully.

"I must admit, I'm most definitely curious, but I find myself more concerned than anything. It's not exactly commonplace for adults to bring children to other nations with them without familial relations. Even then, though, the Sakoku Decree has just been lifted, so seeing vacationers on Inazuman soil isn't all that common either." Speaking as they walked, Heizou, kept aware of their surroundings, not interested in being accosted and having something happen to the boy with him. He was certain the blame would fall on him regardless, and either way, he didn't want the kid getting hurt worse than Childe was already harming him.

[DirtyDeku]

"Oh, you already knew that happened then," He rubs the back of his neck, nose crinkling a little at how bad that lie was. Nothing could beat the obviously fucked up dynamic between him and Childe though, so his bad lie doesn't really matter that much. He'll just forget that happened, hopefully. The night was bound to get hectic once they returned to the accommodation, so it shouldn't be too hard. That, or he'd lose sleep over it and have yet another reason to hate himself. Oh, well. "Mondstadt does actually have fun holidays, just... that isn't one of them."

"Well, you could probably tell that he and I aren't related. Really, I'm not blood-related to anybody back in Mondstadt that I know of," He shrugs his shoulders, as if it would get rid of the ache of knowing he was deemed unwanted despite only being a few days old at his abandonment. Maybe his luck had started upon being born? Maybe even his conception? He'd be lying if he said he wouldn't panic if that happened to him, but... it just seemed like such a spur of the moment thing if his parents left him in Mondstadt and then left. Were his parents actually Mondstadters? He looked the part, he guessed, but he's never quite ran into anybody who has looked too much like him. "We met in a less than ideal way, but he's the only person who has never backed away when my bad luck decides to strike. It's not like I don't know how wrong it is, though. Just... I dunno, it feels nice to not be treated like a burden."

Was being used as a punching bag also nice? Well... at first it'd been pretty confusing and scary, but once he'd figured out that the offer went both ways-- albeit more to one side than the other-- it had been a bit euphoric. He never went as far as Childe did, but treating him like the manifestation of his shit luck was therapeutic enough to stave off a mental breakdown long enough for him to finish whatever task they were assigned to at the time. "It's two-sided, just... one side more than the other. He gets irritated by me and I get irritated by him sometimes, like you saw, but mostly we just ignore how screwed up we both are."

"I used to think Mondstadt was unique, being full of people who were cheery and welcoming on the surface but miserable underneath," He muses. It was certainly funny on the surface, seeing things like a little catgirl working at a bar or knowing that Barbatos was getting drunk at Angel's Share on a nightly basis, but it takes one to know one. Diona's father acted so differently when drunk that she planned to bring Mondstadt's wine industry down, Venti was probably drowning the sorrow he felt at losing a dear friend-- so dear, in fact, that he had taken that friend's appearance, Fischl was left alone so often that she dove headfirst into the fantasy novels she read in the library day after day... "That's true for a lot of places, though, including here."

"I guess what I'm trying to get at is that Childe isn't just a charismatic sadist. He's got a family that he loves, has an idea of what he wants to achieve, actually gives everyone he fights a fair chance even if it doesn't seem like it..." He fidgets with the pouch of Mora in his hands. "He's just-- Well, I haven't really figured it out fully. Something happened when he was around my age that changed him, I know that much, but whenever I ask he just gets this look of something else in his eyes and-- It scares me, but it also makes me regret ever thinking he's the way he is by choice."

[cynnabnnuy]

Heizou nodded carefully, not wanting to give the other any reason to dislike him just yet as they walked. "Only vaguely, but rumors spread quickly, and the death of an archon is certainly a massive deal." Informing the other, he shrugged loosely and hummed softly at the mention of Mondstadt holidays. He'd heard of a few, but there weren't many Inazumans shared unless one was on Ritou. Regardless, he turned his attention to the other as he started explaining, nodding along occasionally to show he was listening. It was obvious they weren't family, and he assumed the boy didn't have friends the moment Childe first laid a hand on him. No friend in their right mind would permit something like that to continue, and any family would've put a stop to it as well. Yet, there they were, walking together and chatting about the two and their... instability.

His brow arched at the mention of the boy's luck, though, head tilted slightly before he pressed his lips together at the other's introspection. That was something he'd make note of but he kept his mouth shut for the moment. Bennett was still talking, waxing... edgy on the state of people around them, but the detective nodded nevertheless. "It will likely be true of most places, nowhere is perfect. Especially not with the evil of the world." Voicing a cynical agreement, he quieted when the other continued, humming lowly again before nodding again. Lots of nodding tonight.

"I see. So you're invested in the relationship because he expresses a desire for you and you're lonely while perceiving yourself as unlikeable in a way that would have someone stay beside you." Voice indifferent, he mused aloud for a moment before moving to turn onto the road that'd pass by the restaurant. "You seem like a pleasant person, so I don't particularly understand, but I suppose that's the issue, isn't it? I don't know you, or your past, I just have a momentary perception of the sweet kid being manipulated by a grown man likely twice his age."

[DirtyDeku]

"Is it only thinking of being perceived as unlikeable if it's true? The only people who don't actively avoid me don't know about my luck or-- whatever you think you're doing, I guess," He doesn't sound hostile when he says that, just a bit... he didn't really know. He has a feeling that Heizo doesn't really know what he felt about their dynamic, either. "You're grossed out about it but you haven't turned to look away. It's really the only option you have, I mean... Childe doesn't mess around, y'know? But you didn't."

Yeah, why's his peepee hard at that? Not that Bennett knew that was what was going on, or that Heizo didn't have a dick just like him. Maybe he was just trying to be the morally correct one? If Heizo was only two years older than him it didn't sound too out there. Teenagers are weird. Maybe he felt helpless because he knew if he were in Bennett's shoes he'd react similarly?

"Less than twice my age, but... still. It's wrong. He knows it, I know it, my friends back in Mondstadt kind of know it. The only two friends I have that aren't, um, dealing with their own problems aren't usually around when it's me and Childe," He explains, gesturing vaguely as he did. "Noelle and Mika are both pretty normal, but Noelle is a maid so she's always working... and I kind of think she's also in a similar situation with one of the Eleven Harbingers...? So maybe she hasn't said anything because, um, you know. Mika is a surveyor for the Knights of Favonius Reconnaissance Company though, so he's always with Varka, away from home. I'm lucky if I see him more than a handful of times a year."

"My closest friend Fischl has been roleplaying as a princess from a world 'beyond Teyvat' for as long as I've known her, Razor was raised by and lives with wolves, Mondstadt's Archon is an alcoholic, one of the Knights of Favonius is a pyromaniac 6 year old--" He huffs, as if realizing for the first time that everyone he knew was fucking crazy. "There's more, but hopefully that helps explain why me and Childe don't stand out too much among my peers?"

[cynnabnnuy]

Maybe he wanted to be morally correct, maybe he wanted to prove something, or maybe- just maybe he was a fucking idiot. Either way, Heizou was still there. He had essentially turned a blind eye, and even he couldn't say why. That didn't change the fact he hadn't left, though... Nor did it change the fact that he knew- they all knew it was wrong. It just made everything a hell of a lot more upsetting when Bennett called him out, to be completely honest. His lips pressed together more, jaw clenched at the statement as he rolled his eyes behind briefly closed lids.

He was supposed to be better than this! He was supposed to be one of the best detectives Inazuma would ever know, even if he was still working towards that level. He was supposed to be evil's natural enemy. Yet there he was, gritting his teeth because he was unable to turn his attention elsewhere when a grown man put his hands on the younger boy.

A low sigh escaped him as he slowed his pace a bit, not particularly wanting to further the discussion right in front of the planned vendor. "That makes sense, I suppose. It's difficult to find normalcy when those around you provide anything but." Murmuring as they approached the bar, Heizou greeted the vendor, his smile returning as he ordered himself the unagi fillets and rice before he recommended unagi chazuke for the ginger. Once Bennett was done ordering, he paid for himself before letting the other cover himself and Childe. The wait wasn't long, thankfully, and with everything bagged up, Heizou took the bag and started back towards the others' accommodations.

"Mondstadt is certainly something, although, I fail to find it all that surprising that the archon has succumbed to alcoholism." Pausing, he thinks over the other mentioned 'friends', shaking his head briefly before looking up to the sky. "I'm at the very least thankful you recognize your situation isn't right, though. I guess? I still find it rather difficult to wrap my head around, but I suppose you don't have any other option. Unless you're interested in dying, which I'm certain would be the outcome of running." He thought aloud, thoughts coming out unfiltered as he shrugged before glancing over at the blonde again. "For what little it may be worth, I hope you can enjoy your time since there's clearly no convincing to be done."

[DirtyDeku]

"Um, I'm sorry. F-For getting so defensive, I mean." He utters right before they come upon the vendor, forcing himself to smile politely and pretend like he wasn't a step from asking Heizo if he was deploying some weird plan to provoke either of them into fighting him. Or... trying to take one or both of them to bed? That's probably the most confusing part. He orders a sashimi platter for himself, mentioning to the vendor that he loved meat of all kinds, before he turns and orders his second dango milk of the day. He wanted Childe to try it, but admittedly he wanted a fair share of it too... if anything good came out of whatever he had going on with Childe, it was that it was easy to channel his sibling instinct to share.

With their meals paid for and bagged up, he followed Heizo like before. He doesn't spring into talking a mile a minute again, choosing to listen and consider any other options between Heizo wanting to fight or wanting to-- ahem. Maybe he just really wanted his point to get across and was willing to die about it? Or perhaps he was just doing his job and would sound the alarm as soon as he and Childe left to return to Mondstadt. "We value our wine back home, that's for sure. I'd probably think he was just really proud of us for that if I hadn't learned about everything when the traveler came through Mondstadt--"

"I've thought about ending whatever we've got going on, but honestly the thought of going back to begging anybody around me to ignore my luck is just... I don't want to, at least not now," He's sure that he'd get some sort of reaction out of Childe if he mentioned it, but he wasn't sure what kind. It probably depended on what mood he was in when Bennett brought it up, plus Fatui business also playing a part. If Childe was neck-deep in something that nobody else was supposed to be witnessing, he'd have to answer to the Tsaritsa's command. He felt like there was a similar feeling inside of Childe just like there was inside of himself though, one that was childish and desperately lonely. If he thought about it too long he'd vow to never leave Childe all by himself, at least until the next time something caused him to consider leaving. "I'd rather know that I'm being manipulated than go back to just feeling like nothing I do changes what's already been set in the stars for me."